Marvin and Blake and the Outhouse

A few years ago I attended a retirement party for a friend retiring from the railroad where he had worked for over 40 years. The dinner was good, and his co-workers provided good-natured ribbing at Blake’s expense. One coworker had been his partner for over 25 years. He told this story they both swear was true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Marvin and Blake were on their way to work driving down a rural road when they passed a deserted farm house nestled in a grove of trees. Suddenly Blake cried out, “Stop, stop! Back up, back up.”

Marvin hadn’t seen anything but thought maybe Blake had spotted a deer or elk or something among the trees, so Marvin backed up. Blake jumped out of the pick-up and ran off into the trees where there was an old outhouse. Marvin waited a bit and after a time proceeded over to the outhouse to make sure Blake was okay.

“Marvin. This is a two-holer in case you’re interested,” Blake yelled from inside.

“No, no. I’m good,” Marvin called back as he waited among the trees. He waited, and waited, and waited. “Blake, you okay in there?”

A mumbled, muffled reply came from inside the outhouse that Marvin couldn’t understand. “What did you say?”

Again came the muffled reply.

Marvin decided he’d better check on his friend, so he opened the door and found Blake with his head and shoulders stuck down the hole of the toilet. “What are you doing?”

Again Blake mumbled something that Marvin still couldn’t understand, so reluctantly, Marvin stuck his head through the other hole so he could hear what Blake was saying.

“My jacket fell in here and I’m trying to get it out, but now I’m stuck.”

Reluctantly, Marvin was able to retrieve the jacket, and got himself out of the less than desirable location. He then managed to help Blake get unstuck.

As Blake and Marvin headed back to the pick-up Blake said, “Hand me my jacket.”

“You aren’t going to wear that stinky thing, are you?” Marvin asks.

“Oh, heavens no!” came the reply. “But there’s a sandwich in the pocket.”