“Hello Lou Marzeles.” (Okay, there should have been a comma after hello, but I’m a professional editor highly trained to notice such details in a world that drops punctuation and whole sentence errors by the dozen every second. I was willing to let that go. I figured they were just in such a hurry to share the good news.)
“This is Mazie Reddit.” (Hm. Okay, another pause. Really? Mazie Reddit? Reddit is a website. And I’ve never heard of anyone with the name Mazie, though I’m the first to admit I’m no expert on names. Oh, well. Let’s see…)
“I’m from the Student Loan Debt Department.” (Wow! Okay...
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