Cheney Free Press -

 
 

By AL STOVER
Staff Reporter 

Great strength can be found in even the worst circumstances

Write to the Point

 


In the last few days, I have witnessed a new kind of strength that not many of my favorite superheroes could perform.

I was originally scheduled to spend part of my Saturday with my younger sister Crystal — or Boo as we call her.

She earned the nickname when she was 2, after she received a pair of boots that she refused to take off. The original plan was to see her in the morning, practice some driving and then have a quick lunch before I made the trip back to Cheney.

I did get to see my sister this weekend, but not in the way I could have ever imagined.

Crystal was eight months pregnant and less than 30 days away from welcoming her new baby girl into the world.

She already had two beautiful boys and was excited about having a daughter. She named her Delila.

Unfortunately, on the evening of March 6, she posted something on social media that seemed to stop everything. She lost the baby.

Crystal still gave birth, on the morning of March 8 — my birthday.

I went to see her at the hospital that afternoon. As her fiancé lay half-asleep on the bed next to her, my sister held Delila in her arms. Although she was heartbroken and her eyes were on the verge of tears, Crystal was still smiling.

Boo told me the nurses asked if she wanted to hold the baby. Although she was hesitant at first, my sister accepted the offer. I think it took a lot of will and strength to do this and I’m sure she cried more than once as she cradled Delila.

As Crystal held her daughter, I kept glancing at the chart over my shoulder.

It listed the time of birth, weight and measurement of the baby, something I thought you would usually see when a baby is born. I kept secretly hoping that Delia would let out a wail to let us know she was awake and ready to take on the world.

Crystal told me that she knows she has a tough road ahead of her, but she and her family will “get through this.”

The nurses have already made a memorial box for her filled with photographs, clothes and other mementos.

Crystal also plans to have a locket with Delila’s photo. Boo said her nurses referred her to a support group where she can talk with others who have gone through the same thing she has. She has also been looking on various grieving forums and websites for comfort and information.

Before I left, I told her I thought it was great that she is being proactive about looking for others for who can help her through the grieving process. I also said that down the road she might have to help a parent who loses a child. Who knows? I could end up being that parent.

One thing that I took away from this situation is that it is okay to grieve and be strong at the same time.

Something else I learned is that if you go through any kind of hardship in your life, you should reach out to others for help, especially if it is someone who has experienced the same struggles you did.

You are not being selfish when you do this and people will be more than willing to help you.

My sister is still mourning the loss of Delila. We both know that our family will never fully recover. However, she continues to move forward to find peace. For that, I am proud to not only call her my sister, but also my friend and my hero.

Al Stover can be reached at al@cheneyfreepress.com.

 

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