February 13, 2014 | Vol. 117 -- No. 43

Like it or not, America is addicted to drugs

Of Cabbages and Kings

A and B are two individuals sitting in the mall arguing. A says,“America is addicted.”

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B counters, “What are you talking about? Not me, I’m not addicted.”

A points a finger in B’s face, “Yes you are. Do you want to do without your coffee for breakfast?”

B: “Coffee? Well, of course not. It helps me wake up. Lots of people depend on their coffee.”

A: “Let’s dig deeper. Remember the Ambien you snuck into your pocket when the doctor--?”

B: “Hey! You’re not being fair. I kinda crave the stuff, that’s all. What the doctor don’t know, don’t hurt him.”

A: “H...

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