Cheney Free Press -


Of Cabbages and Kings: This one is really for the birds

A true story with a couple of little writer added embellishments


Day 1: See those birds. Wonder where they came from. Must be 20 or 30 of them. Look how they swoop, kinda like ballerinas. Wish I could do that. Why do you suppose they’re hanging around my house?

Day 2: What’s going on? Stop that! Oh, my windows, my windows. All around the house. Get the broom. I can’t stand out here all day. What a mess. They’re coming right at me. They’re building nests! This is not a bird hotel. What’ll we do? Careful, that bird’s dive-bombing your face. Duck, duck! Oh, that was close. Let’s call Jarms Ace Hardware.

Day 3: Balloons, who would have thought? Quick get the ladder. Blow up that balloon. Look how big it is. And the eyes on it. They’re huge. Like owl eyes, looking right at you. There you go, hang it from the eves. See how it swings in the breeze. Don’t need very many of them. You did a good job of cleaning out the windows. Those nasty birds can sure make a quick mess of things.

Day 4: Hey, where did the birds go? They just disappeared. People will think we’re having a party with those balloons hanging from all sides of the house. Well, it’s like a party let me tell you. No more birds dive-bombing my house. No more mess to clean up. Did you notice, those birds were fighting each other to get the best place for a nest? We can use these balloons next year if we’re careful not to poke holes in them. What a relief. Those balloons are definitely “for the birds.”

Thanks, Jarms Ace Hardware.

Luella Dow is a Cheney-area author. She can be reached at

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