June 13, 2013 | Vol. 117 -- No. 8

You, too, can join the ranks and become a slacker spy

Think you’re a loser just because you dropped out of high school and never finished the military training you began?

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Think you’re a dud just because you work as a security guard even though you dreamed of becoming a global savior?

Well, don’t beat yourself up. You, too, can become an international superspy like Edward Snowden.

Snowden, 29, and possessing all the qualifications to become a grocery bagger, instead gets hired by the National Security Agency as a security guard, after dropping out of high school and the Army.

This naturally brings him to the attention of the Central I...

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